the end of the chapter..

many things happen lately..

have been depressed, hurt, sad, cried..

really a rocky month for me & its tough i can say..

really tough..>_<

met bf for movie..(:

like finally..we've been meeting each other rarely these days..

cos of his fyp..

so yup..

travelled all the way to Pasir Ris..

watched Real Steel..

the movie was nice..:D

then had dinner with bf..

after that chatted..

heart to heart talk..

finally got my answer..

thou its really hurt but..

yea..i expected it..

so i'm sort of 'mentally prepared' to accept it..

so yeap..

cried hard..-_-

cried until i cant talk properly,

cried until i cant breathe properly,

cried until i'm all feeling sick,

cried until feeling so giddy..

silly me uh..

to ppl out there maybe its just a r/s but to me its not just a r/s but sth tat i truly cherish close to my heart..

thought i would celebrate my 21st birthday with bf next year & of course my very first Valentine's Day with him cos our monthsary falls on the 14th..

but yup..guess i'm gonna celebrate Valentine's Day alone again..pathetic uh lol..

thou its very saddening but things ended well..i guess..

we're still friends & i think its better for him this way..

hmm..keep those memories (hugs & kisses, holding of hands, his smiles, his perfume etc..) & life gotta move on..

back to single life,

back to being alone,

back to envy ppl again..thou i've been envying ppl all along..lol

no more celebrating special occasion with other half,

no more sweet texts,

no more morning texts & night calls,

phone is gonna be silent from tmr onwards,

no more hugs & kisses,

no more holding of hands,

smiles turn to neural,

no more dressing up,

only me & my music..

only me & dance..

tats all i have now..

suddenly i have this smell of his perfume..LOL

i'm such a weirdo..haha..

anyways..no point crying over someone who has no more feelings for me but gotta move on strongly..

in a r/s, love cannot be forced..

once the feeling is not there, no matter how hard one tries to maintain it, it'll not be there..

i cant do anything much also but to accept the fact..so yeap..

am sure gonna missed those days where we go for zoo dates, that giraffe thingy, staying over night at my place, tat warm cuddle under the blanket, tat sound of the heartbeat of urs, the hugs tat we gave to each other, almost everything tat i'm gonna missed..:'( thou we're still frens but theres some things friends cant do when we're tgt..

hmmm..

felt quite sad tat i didnt manage to give him a one last hug before he left cos i'm crying & idk what to do & what am i doing or thinking..:(

anyways, everything have ended & we're still friends..

so its not so bad afterall..

i dont blame him for anything but instead, i thank him for loving me once & i thank him for all those happy moments tat we had tgt..

maybe its my fault tat i cant give him what he wanted..

or i'm not as pretty as those girls,

or i'm not as hyperactive as he want me to be..

对不起，我不够好。。so yup..

..anyways..its the end of the chapter..

& tmr shall be a new begining of my single life..

sad but life have to move on..(:

its really tough but i can pull through this right?

hmm..JIAYOUS ROLINDA!!!!