#thoughts #problems #lost #workhard

Boyfriend is away & suddenly i just felt like i have to handle everything.
Yea, everything on my own. Financially, Emotionally, Mentally, Physically.
I just feel so stress out, as if the world is crushing down on me all of a sudden.
I feel so lost, helpless & hopeless.
All i want to do is just close myself in my room & cry.

Thankfully, i have a sister of another mother to rant my problems to. :')
I'm grateful to have her. Basically, she's beyond my best friend ^-^
So, i call her sister. Hees~
Without her, i think i'll be left alone to fight this.
Without her, i think i'll never have anything left.
Met her at tutti frutti & she's so sweet to draft & plan out a financial plan for me :')
No body will do that for me, even myself as i can never thought of things like that.
And because of her, i've learnt to spend my money wisely & save the rest ^-^
I'm so thankful i have her.
Xiaomei, if you're reading this, 我爱你!!  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  

Encouragement~

Was feeling kind of down yesterday. So, i decided to search for new songs to update my ipod and because i heard this song from Channel [V] (Starhub) sang by VanNess Wu titled 小婚禮. I swear his this song is super nice & cute & also it is about proposal & at the same time, i'm thinking about my boyfee. heh~
So, while listening to this song on youtube, there's some related videos at the side, i saw 王心凌 & she got some new songs. I was curious so i clicked on one of her random song which lead me to this song.

This song suddenly enlightened & encouraged me. I especially love this phrase “这个世界不完美， 这旅途多少胜利与败退。 心 在乱流中学飞 ，有时候很累， 但我听见别气馁。” It's actually part of the lyrics..haha~ & the melody is composed by Lin Jun Jie!! AHHH~ OMGOMG!!

Anyways, after i listened to this song, it just relates to what i'm reflecting yesterday night. About how complicated and messy the world that i am living on and it is filled with imperfections. Some times, it's hard and tiring to comply & please every single one of the people in our life. No matter what, just don't give up on those who cares. & ignore those who doesn't.

ok~ enough of rantings. This is the song that i kept talking about..

王心凌 - 匿名的安慰

我 已不再掉眼泪 很努力的体会 
这个世界不完美
这旅途多少胜利与败退 
领悟现实的吊诡
心 在乱流中学飞 有时候很累 
但我听见别气馁
是谁站在远处守护我 无声但是可贵

这孤单太完美 匿名的安慰 
不知道替我祝福的人他是谁
梦境别粉碎 因为和未来的约会 
教我往前追 
这孤单太完美 包容不完美
想一颗钻石裹在脆弱的心扉 
我对自己说伤心之后另一次机会
我会全心的奉陪

我 已不再掉眼泪 很努力的体会 
这个世界不完美
这旅途多少胜利与败退 
领悟现实的吊诡
心 在乱流中学飞 有时候很累  但我听见别气馁
是谁站在远处守护我 无声但是可贵
hey 这孤单太完美匿名的安慰 
不知道替我祝福的人他是谁
梦境别粉碎 因为和未来的约会 
教我往前追
这孤单太完美 包容不完美
想一颗钻石裹在脆弱的心扉 
我对自己说伤心之后另一次机会
我会全心的奉陪
这孤单太完美 匿名的安慰 
不知道替我祝福的人他是谁
梦境别粉碎 因为和未来的约会 
教我往前追 
这孤单太完美 包容不完美
想一颗钻石裹在脆弱的心扉 
我对自己说 伤心之后另一次机会
我会全心的奉陪
我对自己说 伤心之后另一次机会
谢谢这孤单的美 Thanks for reading~ Stay positive!

Hopeful, happiness.

WARNING : Long & emotional post ahead..Read it at your own risk.

What is happiness?

1. happiness  

   Web definitions state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

To me, happiness used to be a very foreign word since when i was a little girl as i grew in a "not so happy family". Yea, "not so happy family" because when i was 7 years old, in my childhood memories, i only remembered my parents being fierce & angry all the time thou there are nice time only on "some days" like once in a blue moon. So, i've always envied those "happy families"..Especially the Malay/English families. Envied how they have family gathering or outing every weekends because i never have family outings or a happy photo of a family. Like a proper & complete ones.Never, never in my life. It's either dad is in a photo, or mom in the photo or both in a "separate position". Boooo~ This sucks. 

My dad, busy working everyday which is a good thing but not always home, breaking of promises which made us not to believe in his words, making my mom sad and all but i don't hate him. Just dislike yet bless to have him.

My mom, never had luxury or pampering days before, and she never once asked for any. Yet, hardworking & was really a good mother/housewife. She cleans, washes, cooks everything that made the house warm that a mother should be doing. Although, my mom does not have high qualifications. She was a woman that keep her words. A woman who brother & I respected & loved the most in the family. ^-^ She was our only happiness. Thou, she was as fierce as a tiger. Haha~

In between, there's loads of complications which i think i'll skip it. Don't wanna pin it down too much. heh~

Anyways, when i turned 12, she passed away due to cancer. We were young back then, & we do not understand what's going on. All we could do was watched her lying motionless on the hospital bed. I did cried a little but i don't know why as well & my brother just stood there looking at her. I still remembered we just stood there stoning. Then days just moved on as usual. 

As we grew older, it's kind of a big blow to my brother & i because we realized that the passing of our mom is real. She's gone, forever. We felt very sad & lost & i felt regretful as i blamed myself for not being there by her side before she left & also i didn't get a chance to say my last words or say my gratitude to her. Not even a Goodbye. >_<  

She have passed for 10 years, i still can't accept that she's not here anymore especially my brother. Which is kind of heart wrenching to see him being alone & that smile, not always there anymore. 

We have lost our only love & happiness. Because of the loss. We tried to find love & happiness through relationships ( friends & BGR ). We searched & seek & hoped. Firstly, we thought we have found "the one" but not long, we lost it again. Yea, another big blow to us. So, all we could was depend on the friends we made. Some is really close that we keep for years. Some, just passed by. 

As we grew older, we know we have to be stronger & independent. Of course spending more time with each other cos all we have left is one another. Due to having a bad impression on our dad, we're not really that close to him but we appreciates his existence & how hard dad is trying to bring us up. ^-^ After all, he's still our dad. So, we would try to spend some time with him & have breakfast with him in the morning.

Now, after i came out & work, i know that how messy & screwed up this world/people can be. I learnt to be more positive & no matter what, look at the bright side. Some people might be nasty, ignore them. Be thankful of everything i have. Be it small or big.

Note to self: "Every day may not be good. But, there's something good in Every day!" ^-^

I used to be a very negative girl but now, i'm learning to accept how the world is and look at the brighter side.:) Some times, saying is easier than done. But just take a step at a time, i believe everything will be better ^-^

Boyfee is flying to Taiwan tomorrow with his army for 2 weeks ~ T-T

i'm so so gonna miss him..T-T
meanwhile, i shall enjoy my ME time..^-^
Cheerios~
It's just 2 weeks~ not a big deal right?



Smile Rollie!! ^-^

Gardens By The Bay & Jay Chou Movie~ :D

Went to see the flowers with boyfee as a date as he got free tickets from the army on their "family day"..
It's like a day where the NSF men bring their girlfriend or girl-friend out. Basically, it's family day. LOL~
ok. My English sucks. heh~

Anyways, went to see the flowers~
Not really my kinda activity to do. Since it's a free ticket, we shall take a look ^-^
Ok, the flowers are indeed pretty thou..
heh~ below are some of the photos i took..^-^

before we head out, took some photo with cutiepie~

love love~

And so, after garden by the bay, we decided to catch a movie.

We chose The Rooftop filmed & directed & acted by Jay Chou!! Wooooo~

As usual, his movie is Boomz~ haha~ ok, i dont know what i'm talking about..

Anyways, the movie is AWESOME!!! As awesome as his first movie, "Secret"..

The starting part of the movie is unexpected..that dance & song..WOW!!!

Jay Chou's movie is always about love, dance & music..

& when all comes together, it makes AWESOME combination!!! :DDD

Below is his movie trailer..

So, if you haven't watch yet, quickly go & watch it before it ends!!! :D

Thanks for reading!! That's all for today~ 

See you!!! Muahhhhh~

Say yes to the dress~

This post is gonna be longgg but but, it's going to be filled with pictures as well~
so not so boring :)
haha~ enjoy!

Lately, my facebook wall have been flooded by my friends who are getting married at my age & some, younger than me..like WHUT!! o.o

i'm so envy..
cos, ME WANT TOOO!!!!! LOL~

And at the same time i'm so happy for them ^-^
They're so lucky ^-^

Anyways, this TV series have been going on for days & i'm watching it like MAD!!
Yes, MAD!!! MADNESS!!
haha~ ok..-_- i'm like being abit exaggerating here.. 
but~ it's really beautiful~

The TV series are called, "Say Yes To The Dress" & "Randy to the Rescue".

Both are kinda related thou..
Basically, there's this consultant whom everybody loves, including ME! is this man named Randy Fenoli, the Fashion Director for Kleinfeld. 

Kleinfeld is a bridal boutique that sell hell loads of PRETTY wedding 
gowns..gosh~
i can really say PRETTY!!! the gowns there are Gorgeous! ^-^

After watching all those episodes on that bridal boutique, it just made me wanna go there to get my wedding dress as well..LOL~ but i dont think so cos it's too expensive >_< 

Whenever i watch the series, i would cry with the bride-to-be (in the tv) & like as if like i'm one of their family members or friends who are there with them..that moment, it's just indescribable.

I can't wait for my BIG day~ haha..
It's gonna be long thou but, good things are worth the wait right? ^-^  
I'm also not sure if this day will ever happen to me or not..
Anyways, somehow, someday, this day will come right? hees~

Thou i'm excited cos i've found my prince charming but that most important day that every girl dreamed of have yet to happen to me.
All i could do was to anticipate & look forward to that day~ 

Meanwhile, i'll just admire those beautiful wedding dress~ 
OH SO PRETTY!!!!~

 

( photos taken from tumblr & google )
Thanks for reading~
xoxo.

NDP Preview with love~

So, bro got 2 NDP tickets from his NS as he's helping out during the actual NDP day. For those who are wondering what's NDP, NDP is National Day Parade. :)

What's so special about NDP?
The Singapore National Day Parade (NDP) is a national ceremony in Singapore that includes a parade on Singapore's National Day on August 9, in commemoration of Singapore's independence that is usually held at the Padang (1966–1974), the National Stadium, various decentralized venues all over Singapore or The Float@Marina Bay. The 2013 parade was held at The Float@Marina Bay. 

Every year, i'd watch the Parade 'Live' on Tv as it's very crowded at the venue itself which i don't really like crowded places. But this year, since bro got 2 tickets for free, & dad was unable to go. Boyf & i went to watch the preview of the parade. :) 

Even thou it's only the rehearsal, but it is so neat & awesome!! As if it is on the actual day itself.
Great Job!! 

I'm finally going to TAIWAN!!!! WEEEE~ :D

New environment, new learning~

HI HI~ hahha~

Have been super busy due to work..

Currently i'm working at a hotel as a Guest Relation Officer ( Front Desk )..

But it's my last day today..

I'm happy & sad thou..

Happy cos i'm not gonna work shifts anymore & sad cos that's my fav job.
But, oh well~ family comes first! ^-^
& because it's kinda tiring as well..
but everything is paid off~ ^-^
haha~

so yeap, many things happened for this 2 short months but i've got to say that i learnt alot!!
like ALOT! :D
am thankful for that ^-^
hees~

So gonna miss my friends there~

Despicable Me 2!!

Wheeeeee!!! boyfee knew that i want to watch Despicable Me 2 so he brought me to watch that today!! "I'm so happy, i'm gonna die!!!"

HAHAHA~ ok..*stop*

I've watched Despicable Me & i'm so excited that part 2 is finally out.!!!
HAHA~ the the minions are super cute & funny as usual until i want to learn their Minion Language. haha~

It's like super fun! haha~

Birthday BOY~ & Buddy~

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE~
Not forgetting my Bestest Buddy! ^-^

1st & 2nd birthday for love~ <3 nbsp="">

Hand made birthday card~