lost.

I don't know what to do or how to feel..
i feel so lost, so unsure of myself..
i don't know if i can do this..
i can't breathe..
i feel like everything's choking me..
i'm lonely, i just want to be with baby & no one else.
i..really don't know what to do..

i finally got a job. i'm happy because i finally can learn something new & also have some allowance for myself and at the same time depressed because i feel like the lady boss does not know what i am thinking or what i'm trying to communicate to her.

i really don't know if i can do this. i feel so scared, so helpless, so..clueless.
sometimes, life's just too hard to breathe.
i don't know i can hold for how long.
and about the lady boss, i don't really get what she really wants me to do.
this feeling, sucks~
& it's very depressing.

my mind have been going through alot..
yea..i'm not going through alot of things but my mind.
even when it's time to sleep/rest, my mind just can't stop working & thinking & planning..
i can't go to sleep..& it's making me terrible but i don't know what to do.

i tried to force myself not to think but i just can't.
the only way to make me sleep in by playing the music on my iphone but i don't want to depend on that.

anyways, JIAYOU ROLINDA!!! >_<
feeling super nervous & excited for tomorrow's first day at work..
ahhh!! mixed feelings..>_<